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This is the maid

A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers. The guy says, ``Who is this?''

``This is the maid, '` answers the woman.

``We don't have a maid'', says the man.

The woman says ``I was hired this morning by the lady of the house.''

The man says, ``Well, this is her husband. Is she there?''

The woman replies, ``She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband''

The guy is fuming and says to the maid, ``Listen, would you like to make \$50,000?''

The maid says, ``What will I have to do?''

The man tells her, ``I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the witch and the jerk she's with''

The maid puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps and then 2 gun shots.

The maid comes back to the phone, ``What do I do with the bodies?''

The man says, ``Throw them in the swimming pool.''

Puzzled, the maid answers, ``But you don't have a pool.''

A long pause and the man says, ``Is this 567-5309?''

Vocabulary Help

  • dial: telefonar, discar
  • maid: empregada
  • hire: contratar
  • upstairs: andar de cima
  • fuming: furioso
  • gun: revolver
  • shoot: atirar
  • witch: bruxa
  • jerk: idiota
  • bodies: corpos
  • swimming pool: piscina


Mais histórias como esta podem ser encontradas no livro Read in English: Uma Maneira Divertida de Aprender Inglês, publicado pela Editora Novatec,


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