Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00pm and
then bring it to me The challenge of a deadline is refreshing
If it's really a ``rush job'', run in and interrupt me every 10minutes
to inquire how it's going That helps. Or even better, hover behind me,
advising me at every keystroke
Always leave without telling anyone where you're going It gives me
a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are
Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD
have been Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living
increase I'm not here for the money anyway
If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the
priority I like being a psychic
Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have
nowhere to go or anything to do I have no life beyond work.
If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret If that gets out,
it could mean a promotion
If you don't like my work, tell everyone I like my name to be
popular in conversations I was born to be whipped.
If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down
In fact, save them until the job is almost done No use confusing me
with useful information
Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to
know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton When you
refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them
Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's
nice to know someone is less fortunate I especially like the story
about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you get
